Practically Speaking

What is mindfulness? I like the definition of Jon Kabat-Zinn:

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, 
in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

It really is as simple and as difficult as that. Why is it difficult? Because our minds are geared to search and create stories, it is our default mode neurologists say, and we easily get lost in our stories about the past and the future; about others, the world, and ourselves. And I do mean stories and we typically live in them as if they were reality. In point of fact our memories are not completely accurate and our thoughts abut things are often skewed since our information is necessarily limited and our minds most often are protectively and negatively skewed; details are lost and we fill in the blanks with whatever fits our prevailing narrative. Most often, unfortunately, we fill in the blanks with negatives and many of us have plenty of negatives to fill the blanks in with! Our thoughts about ourselves, about others, about the world generally are most often negatively toned but if our pasts are full of hurtful events it is all the easier to be negative. All of us have the desire to protect ourselves from possible hurts and form remembering past hurts. .

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment. By this I mean what is “real”; what we can see, touch, taste, smell, and touch. Try this just for a moment and see how quickly your minds drift off to the laundry, your children’s schoolwork, your financial troubles (or windfalls), your next evaluation, that conversation you had earlier that did not go as we wanted, when we can retire, etc. It really happens in a matter of seconds. And when it does (WHEN IT DOES) we are to gently return our minds back to the focus of attention. This is the exercise.  But there are two other components of mindfulness that are essential if its benefits are to be realized.

Acceptance of whatever happens in the moments during our exercise is principle number 2. Whatever thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, events occur (unless it absolutely requires our immediate attention that is) we simply observe and accept that they are what they are and observe them as they are there and as they change.  And principle number 3. We purpose to not react to our impulses and to remain where we are, sitting still if possible. The only responses there should be are those we choose to do deliberately and if, perhaps, it should be to scratch an itch we do it mindfully i.e. slowly, being aware of every movement and he changes in sensation when we do it.

We can strengthen the attention function of our brain by the exercise of attention. As I wrote earlier, it is an exercise. There is nothing automatic about it.

So here is a simple attention exercise:

Mindfulness Meditation—Sitting

  

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where regular practice may be established.

2. Sit in a chair or on the floor with head, back, and neck straight but not stiff and the shoulders relaxed.

3. Use your breathing as an anchor to the present. Watch the breath as it enters and leaves. Focus on the physical sensations forcing nothing.  Notice at the end and beginning of each breath is a pause.  Pay attention to that place of rest.

4. Watch thoughts come and go and when you get distracted gently take note of where you went and bring your focus back to the breath. Again simply observe without fighting anything. The only effort is to bring the focus of attention back to the breath.

5. Watch as feelings come and go. Some feelings will be comfortable (peace, joy, compassion etc.) and some will be uncomfortable (sadness, fear, anxiety, guilt, irritation). Observe all these also without fighting or repressing them and return your focus back to the breath.

6. Bring an attitude of curious acceptance to everything that happens including thoughts, feelings, and sensations.

7. During this time do not react to your experiences. Observe them and accept that they are there. Remain seated and return your focus to the breath as often as distraction occurs.

8. Begin with a reasonable time limit but one that requires the effort of refocusing when distraction occurs.    

Please remember this however. Mindfulness can focus on anything; it is not just about watching the breath. It about being aware of anything that “is”. The breath here is the focus of attention for the exercise to build the power of attention. There are good, solid scientific reasons for breath-focused exercises and, if you are religious, your particular system probably has good, solid theological reasons for this as well.  The latter is a topic for another occasion and a worthy one.  

Moreover, these formal exercises are like going to the gymnasium of mindfulness practice. We could call this meditation proper, but there are a myriad of ways to practice informally, wherever you find yourself and whatever your condition. We can call this mindfulness (generally) and we will talk more about this later.

If you want to begin a practice the above might be helpful.