"You Have Found the Secret of This Place"

Mindfulness is like sitting on the bank of a river perhaps with your back against a tree watching the river flow by. There are many objects that might flow down your river depending on the experiences and memories you have. You really cannot control what gets carried down the river nor can you control all of the  thoughts that flow in your stream of consciousness The objects carry emotions and physical sensations with them, pleasant or unpleasant, and you may also observe the flow of these within you. Watch as they come and go. Watch as some of these have more power than others and tend to attract more attention. 

When things seem to attract more attention and create more emotion you may do one of several things. You may dive in, grab hold of it, and either get carried away downstream or pull it to the bank with you and meditate on it. This will serve to enhance and sustain the experience. If it is an unpleasant memory, thought, feeling, sensation then you will feel distress. If the thoughts, feelings, sensations are pleasant and you attend to them you will feel pleasant. 

One may also choose to deny or avoid the object or experience, damming up the river to prevent the object from floating into our consciousness or pushing it of consciousness. If this is the choice what will soon happen is that the river will overflow and you will soon find the object sitting squarely and uncomfortably in your lap. Avoidance or denial of what is there also enhances and sustains the experience.

What we fix our attention on reinforces the power of the object. While it does no good to avoid or deny that negative, unpleasant, even perverse thoughts enter our minds, our "stream of consciousness", and create feelings and sensations in our bodies it also does us greater harm to fix our attentions on them EVEN with the intent of removing them. It is far better, in realistic humility, to admit that these things do come to mind, refocus attention toward something better, beautiful, pleasant, or helpful, and allow the thought to be there. If you do not fight the unpleasant thoughts or try to avoid them they will to flow more quickly out of our consciousness.

Meditation is a constant human activity whether we do it formally or not. It is not a matter of whether we will meditate or not, we will. The issue really is on what will we meditate i.e. repetitively and deliberately fix our attention. It may be television, a computer screen, a novel, nature, donuts, anything, but meditate we will. And even then our minds become distracted quickly and we have to pull it back. 

I often ask patients to focus their attention on all of the red objects in my office. Immediately and usually before I finish my request their eyes dart all around the room. This occurs whether or not they are in great distress and my request may come at a highly unexpected moment. I may then ask them to observe a particular shape in my office, say all the rectangles. Immediately their eyes begin to dart once again. It takes microseconds for the brain to shift attention and create an experience with "red" or "entangles" at the fore. 

I then explain that this is how the brain works. The red objects and rectangles were always there but until there was the request to attend to them the red objects and rectangles were on the periphery and unremarkable. Once the request was made areas of the brain that process “red” and “rectangles” began absorbing more glucose and emitting more bioelectrical activity.  Then, for a short time, it’s hard NOT to see "red" or "rectangles". Other areas of the brain not needed in processing red and rectangular objects grow quieter and the internal experiences-thoughts, feelings, behaviors-immediately change or begin to. 

Areas of the brain that produce a sense of well-being are reinforced by the use of mindfulness practices generally and if the intention is to increase awareness of the pleasant, good, and beautiful then areas responsible for creating that experience can also be enhanced further by meditations focused toward that end. 

Focusing on the unpleasant produces similar effects in the brain but not of the well-being variety. Areas responsible for feelings of guilt, depression, anxiety, anger, shame come on-line and the affects should not be difficult to imagine. We do not eliminate unhelpful behaviors by self-despising, fighting against them, or using energy to push them away. These behaviors rather reinforce them. Is it any wonder how we remain trapped in behaviors that violate our sense of virtue.

At the Archabbey of St. Meinrad in Indiana a female retreatant was walking along the broad walk before the beautiful sandstone buildings of the seminary. A monk sitting on a bench beckoned to her to sit with him. She shyly accepted his offer. He asked her, “Well, how do you like the place?” and then he quickly said, “No, don’t tell me. You can’t be here more than a few minutes and not like it.” Just then a bumble bee began buzzing around him prompting him to say, “It can’t be me he’s after. I’m not sweet enough.” The woman replied, “Maybe what attracts him to you isn’t so apparent.” Then he looked at her with moist eyes, “You have found the secret of this place.” 

Pay attention and you'll discover the secret of this place, whatever place you are in. 

The State of Things

The day broke like many others. The sky was azure blue with wispy cirrus clouds high above full of shimmering ice crystals. We had driven into Cadiz, KY in the middle of the night having been awakened by the news that Jenny’s mother was being taken to the hospital. My father-in-law had found her unresponsive in her recliner. Her health had been failing for many years due mostly to her having smoked for many, many years. She had stopped about 10 years or so before but the damage was done. Congestive heart failure, COPD, and the various medical problems that accompany medical treatments for such diseases was her lot. At this stage the side effects of one medication created problems that other medications were placed on board to remedy. The doctors were doing a delicate balancing act. As we drove we heard a number of conflicting messages from family members—she would be ok, she would not survive—keeping us emotionally off balance.  As usual I slipped into my expecting the worst because eventually, well you know…

She died during the night, a quiet, peaceful death, as her heart simply stopped. It was a great loss to all of us but it was tinged with a sigh of relief. The roller coaster ride was over for her, for us, for now.

That morning we alerted my family and several would come. I am fortunate to have family on both sides that actually very much like each other. Two of my cousins came! But rather surprisingly my father would be unable to attend due to illness. Odd indeed. My father was a strong bull of a man with the gentlest spirit imaginable. He would not miss this unless it was absolutely necessary. But miss it he did.

One month later my father developed the voice of one who had breathed helium without benefit of that element. It was funny, briefly, but soon would not be.  Finally he went to the doctor, underwent several tests, and then we received the dread news. He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and not the usual, easily treatable, kind either; it was an anaplastic carcinoma, aggressive, and almost always fatal. Only about 4% survive but he was determined to try to be in that number.

He suffered through radiation which burnt his throat and swelled his esophagus so badly that he could not swallow. He did not eat again except for a little custard now and then. Finally they inserted a feeding tube into his side so he did not have to starve to death. (The doctor apologized with tears in his eyes for not having done this sooner.) He suffered intensely I could tell from the expressions and his eyes but it didn’t take much to see it.  He learned mindfulness, practiced assiduously, often in the Christian modes and never complained that I either heard or heard about. He was able to attend his granddaughter’s wedding in late July but he was weak and in pain. They began chemotherapy in early August. He was dead by the 12th in the year 2007.  The most beautiful tragic thing I have ever been witness to…and sad, poignantly but meaningfully sad. 

He had written on a tablet during this time. No one saw it until his death but it was full of sentences and phrases about approaching his pain as a spiritual adventure; like the Christ’s ascension of the cross. He opened up to everything that occurred as best he could offerring compassion and kindness and a ready smile to whoever visited him.

“I’m hungry,” he wrote in one brief sentence. “Help me to see this as hunger for Your righteousness.” 

Live long enough, say to age 8, and then tell me life is Disney World. There will be something that hurts. Disappointments, even catastrophic ones happen early-- deaths, disease, rejection, failure, natural disasters, losses of all kinds happen to everyone. Life is painful and transient but fortunately as Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “…that is not all there is”. Life is full of beauty as well.

Mindfulness allows us to open to the transient before us, even our eventual illnesses and deaths because they are inevitable. They will happen but they still are transient. It also allows us to open to the beautiful and pleasant as well, even at the same time, diminishing our suffering and bringing us some peace and joy. I didn’t say happiness (which is a topic for another day).

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is (itself) the way.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

This is the state of things, like it or not and there is no reason to like the painful. Live with it nobly, yes, if one knows how. But there is a vital difference between pain and suffering that must be explained. They are not the same, for if they were there would be nothing we could do. A Zen saying is:

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

I agree. Here is the difference.

While pain is what we cannot avoid, like illness, storms, lightening, flood, death, etc Suffering arises from how we approach our pain, how we react psychologically to it. Suffering, however, is not “in your head”. The brain doesn’t feel a thing. Suffering affects us physiologically and piles more pain high on top of what was already there. It is one thing to experience losses such as I wrote above. It is quite another to then approach them with thoughts like:

“Such things should not happen.”

“I can’t live without my father. I’ll never enjoy another day.”

“I should have seen his symptoms earlier and insisted he go to the doctor.”

“I should have done more.”

“I didn’t love him like I should have.”

“I was just a disappointment to him.”

“I could get cancer too! That would be horrible! I couldn’t do that!”

Pain arises from the facts of existence. Suffering arises from opinions about the painful events.  The former cannot be avoided and, while the latter may happen automatically, they are only opinions and are therefore subject to change. How helpful is it to believe that bad things cannot and should not happen to me? How unrealistic. Of course they will. It hurts to think otherwise.  But beauty and its benefits are ever-present too in innumerable ways.  We can become receptive to the beauty that streams all around—in sunlight, rain drops, clouds, the ground under our feet, the wagging of a dog’s tail, the smile on  child’s face—if we know how.  Look around with your senses! Beauty is there.  Just as pain is inevitable so is beauty and the one great advantage that beauty has over pain is that if we look around us at nature, and inside of us, and toward others, beauty is always there…if we know how to see.   

This is the state of things.

Practically Speaking

What is mindfulness? I like the definition of Jon Kabat-Zinn:

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, 
in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

It really is as simple and as difficult as that. Why is it difficult? Because our minds are geared to search and create stories, it is our default mode neurologists say, and we easily get lost in our stories about the past and the future; about others, the world, and ourselves. And I do mean stories and we typically live in them as if they were reality. In point of fact our memories are not completely accurate and our thoughts abut things are often skewed since our information is necessarily limited and our minds most often are protectively and negatively skewed; details are lost and we fill in the blanks with whatever fits our prevailing narrative. Most often, unfortunately, we fill in the blanks with negatives and many of us have plenty of negatives to fill the blanks in with! Our thoughts about ourselves, about others, about the world generally are most often negatively toned but if our pasts are full of hurtful events it is all the easier to be negative. All of us have the desire to protect ourselves from possible hurts and form remembering past hurts. .

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment. By this I mean what is “real”; what we can see, touch, taste, smell, and touch. Try this just for a moment and see how quickly your minds drift off to the laundry, your children’s schoolwork, your financial troubles (or windfalls), your next evaluation, that conversation you had earlier that did not go as we wanted, when we can retire, etc. It really happens in a matter of seconds. And when it does (WHEN IT DOES) we are to gently return our minds back to the focus of attention. This is the exercise.  But there are two other components of mindfulness that are essential if its benefits are to be realized.

Acceptance of whatever happens in the moments during our exercise is principle number 2. Whatever thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, events occur (unless it absolutely requires our immediate attention that is) we simply observe and accept that they are what they are and observe them as they are there and as they change.  And principle number 3. We purpose to not react to our impulses and to remain where we are, sitting still if possible. The only responses there should be are those we choose to do deliberately and if, perhaps, it should be to scratch an itch we do it mindfully i.e. slowly, being aware of every movement and he changes in sensation when we do it.

We can strengthen the attention function of our brain by the exercise of attention. As I wrote earlier, it is an exercise. There is nothing automatic about it.

So here is a simple attention exercise:

Mindfulness Meditation—Sitting

  

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where regular practice may be established.

2. Sit in a chair or on the floor with head, back, and neck straight but not stiff and the shoulders relaxed.

3. Use your breathing as an anchor to the present. Watch the breath as it enters and leaves. Focus on the physical sensations forcing nothing.  Notice at the end and beginning of each breath is a pause.  Pay attention to that place of rest.

4. Watch thoughts come and go and when you get distracted gently take note of where you went and bring your focus back to the breath. Again simply observe without fighting anything. The only effort is to bring the focus of attention back to the breath.

5. Watch as feelings come and go. Some feelings will be comfortable (peace, joy, compassion etc.) and some will be uncomfortable (sadness, fear, anxiety, guilt, irritation). Observe all these also without fighting or repressing them and return your focus back to the breath.

6. Bring an attitude of curious acceptance to everything that happens including thoughts, feelings, and sensations.

7. During this time do not react to your experiences. Observe them and accept that they are there. Remain seated and return your focus to the breath as often as distraction occurs.

8. Begin with a reasonable time limit but one that requires the effort of refocusing when distraction occurs.    

Please remember this however. Mindfulness can focus on anything; it is not just about watching the breath. It about being aware of anything that “is”. The breath here is the focus of attention for the exercise to build the power of attention. There are good, solid scientific reasons for breath-focused exercises and, if you are religious, your particular system probably has good, solid theological reasons for this as well.  The latter is a topic for another occasion and a worthy one.  

Moreover, these formal exercises are like going to the gymnasium of mindfulness practice. We could call this meditation proper, but there are a myriad of ways to practice informally, wherever you find yourself and whatever your condition. We can call this mindfulness (generally) and we will talk more about this later.

If you want to begin a practice the above might be helpful.  

A Story from Gethsemani and Beyond

“When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches.”

Psalm 63:6

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” 

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

The Cistercian brothers, one by one, gathered into their separate choir stalls preparing for Lauds, the second hour of prayer. The long, narrow chapel, with its ceiling soaring above, was illumined by sunlight shining through gently-colored pastel stained glass panes. In the 1960’s the faux gothic plaster work was removed and it was remade in what is called the Brutalist style, beautiful in its stark simplicity. Everything was off-white; ceiling, walls, and the robes of the brothers. After all were the gathered the Abbot raised his staff, tapped on the floor three times and chanted, “O God, come to our assistance.” This was followed immediately by the brothers on both sides chanting, “O lord make haste to help me.” Pure tones reverberated as the prayer of Lauds continued. The meditation on Psalm verses by means of chanting, an action done by the devout for millennia before and after the Christian era, continued here for the healing of mind, body, and soul. Beginning at 3:15 am every day, the monks and hardy retreatants, begin the day and follow the meditative and prayerful schedule throughout interspersed with work and private devotional activity. Day after day, year after year, breath after breath…

The verse chanted by the Abbot at the Abbey of Gethsemani and the brothers at the beginning of Lauds (Psalm 70:1) and all other Hours, except for the first hour of Vigil, has been used by Jews and Christians for meditation from the beginnings of the Judaeo-Christian spiritual tradition. The use of a single Psalm verse like Psalm 70:1, throughout the day, often in rhythm with the breath, is one of many forms of Christian meditation. It is, inescapably mantra-like.

Positive effects of meditation on the brain have been well documented. These effects assist people in navigating the inevitable difficulties of life.  Science tells us that mindfulness and meditation practiced regularly over time produces remarkable neurological effects and intensify.  In the extreme, these effects enable humans to endure intense amounts of physical and emotional pain. Two examples of this come to mind. 

On June 11, 1963 I was watching the news when I saw the newsreel of the Buddhist monk, Thich Quang Duc, on fire in a street in Saigon. He was protesting the persecution of Buddhist monks under the corrupt Roman Catholic regime of President Diem. It was not an act of suicide. At the tender age of 8 this was both horrific and fascinating and quickly put out of mind. Years later I saw the video again but from different eyes. I noticed that the monk scarcely moved and he did not utter a sound as far as I could tell. I asked, not “why”, this I knew, but “how”?  

The second example is more familiar to most of us but is equally as mystifying. It is that of the Christ suffering on the cross. It is made much more mystifying if it is true that this act was of God Himself and was also entirely voluntary as classical Christian theology states. But even if the Divine narrative about Jesus is untrue and this was not a voluntary giving up of himself, the act, as reported, would still be astounding. How would someone endure such intense pain and emotional suffering and offer only compassion to his torturers? "Father, forgive them…"

What makes these two incidents similar? 

First, both men were raised in and practiced the spirituality common to their respective cultures and both involved intense forms of meditation with mindfulness at the base. And this, central feature of both spiritual cultures, was practiced for many years, perhaps from childhood. 

Second, both men performed acts of love rather than hatred.

As I walked through the cemetery looking for the grave of Thomas Merton to pay my respects, I met an elderly monk. It was unusual to see a brother walking outside the monastic enclosure. He walked toward me wearing a bright smile. I greeted him. I asked him his name and other cursory questions thinking to begin a brief dialogue with a normally reclusive Cistercian. He looked at me and in answer to every question he said something like, “I am on a journey from here to there.” Quickly it became clear that he had some form of dementia. But his mood and his smile was consistent as was his message and all of this was not lost on me. How long had he been there practicing the Opus Dei? What pain and suffering did he have to endure as he moved toward the Beatific Vision (or enlightenment)? There was no way for me to know and he could not tell me. But what he did prepared his brain to develop peace and compassion even as his brain was ravaged with the damage of dementia. He symbolized the whole meaning of the Abbey and its message for me… And of the meaning of life. 

The original name from Christianity was “The Way” reflecting the view that there were steps to take. It was not called “the Decision” nor was it called “the Dogma”. As St. Paul wrote “the letter kills but the spirit gives life”. The Way is about activity in “the Spirit” and both the classical Hebrew and koine Greek words for spirit also refer to breath as we have seen, the “breath of life”. Practices in Jewish and Christian spirituality as well as in Buddhism developed meditative practices with the breath as central and now we realize why this is so. The research into both mediation and the breath describe the neurological correlates inasmuch as it is possible at this time.  It is a process of developing abilities to deliberately face the difficulties of life (avoidable and unavoidable), bring integration to the confusion within, and create mutually satisfying relationships with the only things that brings strength and sanity to the madness--nobility and compassion.